Wot a load of old rubbish!!!
by monkeywomen
Summary: Q, T/P on a bad day. Started off serious but I wet myself at how bad it started getting


B'leanna and Tom were lying in their bed. There was relative quite on the ship. There had been no major disasters except Neelix's cooking and the crew was grateful for the rest. Suddenly, out of thin air, an omnipotent being, commonly known as Q appeared...   
  
  
Q leaned over the sleeping pair, confused as to why he was there. Suddenly with her Klingon instincts and strength, B'leanna leaped out of bed, in her underwear and there was a loud crack as her fist connected with his nose.   
"Wotcha do that for???" Q asked in pain.  
"What are you doing here???" B'leanna demanded to know.  
"Dunno???" Q replied shrugging his shoulders, still clutching his nose.  
"Tom...Tom...TOM!!!"  
"Huh, go back to sleep 'leanna," He rolled over and went back to sleep.   
"I'm telling Katy!!!" Q pouted.  
"Go on then, see if I care." B'leanna said, not really interested, getting back into bed.  
"Fine!!!" Q waved his hands around and the next thing they knew, B'leanna, still in her underwear, Q, The Captain, in uniform and a still asleep Tom wearing only his boxers appeared in the Captains Ready-room.  
"What the hell is going on???" The Captain demanded to know. "Oh, it is you." She replied shaking her head. Q was still clutching his nose.  
"You stuck up, over cocky..." B'leanna was on the verge of shouting.  
"O.K, what the hell is going on, before I start to get annoyed."  
"I demand you have Lt. Torres punished for assault!!!"  
"Bloody hell!!!"  
"and bad language in front of her superior officer."  
"It should have taught you not to sneak up on people!!!"  
Q waved his hands and his nose returned to normal.  
"Want to give your side of the story, B'leanna???"  
"Q here decided to pay us a midnight visit, I heard someone sneaking around, woke up and hit him."  
"Broke my nose!!!"  
"Should have hit you in a more delicate place!!!"  
"Look Q, there is no way I can prosecute for assault, if you were sneaking around in her quarters. You should know that."  
"Wasn't sneaking around!!!"  
"Reckon you weren't!!!"  
"Got any proof???"  
"Have you???"  
"Mr. Paris didn't wake up!!!"  
"'Mr. Paris' hasn't woken up through this whole debate, and probably won't."  
"O.K, that is enough, I can't deal with this now. We will reconvene at 0800h tomorrow. Dismissed."  
"Urm, Captain. Can I use the Transporter???" B'leanna asked, realizing what she was wearing, or rather not wearing. The Captain then realized and was fighting back a smile.  
"Off course, take sleeping beauty with you."  
"Do I have to???" B'leanna joked.  
Janeway shook her head.  
  
  
*Transporters offline*  
"Bugger,"   
*Torres to Engineering*   
*Comm systems offline*  
"Q, stop whatever you are doing or I will personally eat your heart out."  
"Catch me if you can???"  
"BASTARD!!!"  
"Bye bye, enjoy your trip back to your quarters, the systems will go back on when you get there."  
"*##**##*#*#*#******#*#*#*"  
"Tut, tut. Not nice language."   
  
  
  
"TOM GET YOUR LAZY ARSE UP NOW!!!"  
"I'm awake, been awake ages!!!" Tom said as he rubbed his eyes.  
"We need to get back to our quarters, NOW!!!"  
"Where are we???"  
"Where does it look like???"  
"Why are we sitting in the Captains Ready-room, half naked???" Tom asked with a sly grin on his face as he saw B'leanna in her bra and knickers with the Captain glugging her coffee Q had thoughtfully got her, in the background. B'leanna whacked him.  
"Long story, cut it short, need to get back to our quarters."  
"What are you waiting for then???" Tom asked.  
"You to get your lazy arse of the floor and get moving."  
Tom jumped up, calling farewell to the Captain.  
"B'leanna what's ....." Chakotay looked in surprise as B'leanna and Tom walked through only semi-clad. "Going on???" He finished hastily.  
"Captain will update you. Don't worry, it'll soon be sorted."  
Harry was silently laughing,  
"Not one word Starfleet!!!" B'leanna told him.  
They entered the Turbolift.  
  
  
  
"Deck 14"  
"I'll kill you!!!"  
"Huh, me???"  
"No someone else, who's listening in."  
"O.K." Tom started kissing her neck, moving his way down.  
"No, he's watching!!!"  
"Lets give him an eyeful to remember!!!" Tom mumbled, his mouth full.   
"But...Oh God!!!" She moaned.  
"Computer, halt Turbolift!!!"  
  
  
"Oh shit, run." B'leanna told Tom.  
"Yes, Ma'am." Tom joked, as he sprinted off after an ex-decathlon champion, trying desperately to catch up.  
"This is all your fault, everyone is waiting for us to get to our quarters"  
"Why???"  
"'Cause of fucking Q, his fucking obnoxiousness and him being a fucking pain in the arse. I WOULDN'T FUCKING BOTHER APPEARING, OR ELSE YOU MIGHT FIND YOURSELF WITH ANOTHER FUCKING BROKEN NOSE!!! "   
"You gave Q a broken nose???"  
"Yes, what about it???" B'leanna challenged him.  
"Well...Done!!!" Tom replied panting. "Kinda...explains.....somethings!!!  
  
  
  
"Oh crap!!!"  
"What???"  
"A group from Engineering!!!"  
"Oh dear!!!" Tom laughed at her.  
"Hi Tom,"   
"Hi Joe." Tom called.  
"Nice outfit!!!"  
"Thanks, B'leanna...B'leanna...B'LEANNA, WHERE ARE YOU???"  
"See you later, good luck finding the Chief."  
"Thanks,"  
The Engineers walked off.  
"Phew, that was close!!!" B'leanna sighed as she jumped out a nearby access hatch.   
"Traitor!!!" Tom accused.  
"I didn't want to ruin my image!!!" B'leanna stuck her tongue out.  
  
  
  
  
"We're hear, finally!!!"  
*Torres to Janeway???*  
*Janeway here, I see you made it!!!*  
Muffled laughter was heard through the Comm.  
*Shut up Chakotay or I'll make it public what you did that night you got pissed for the first time!!!*  
*I'll shut up!!!*  
*If you'll excuse me I'm going back to bed!!!*  
*O.K, I'll see you tomorrow. Janeway out*  
"I'm never leaving this room again!!!" qxz stated as she flopped down on the bed.  
"Not for a while, anyway." Tom whispered, as he landed on top of her.  
  
  
THE END   
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
